Archive for April, 2010

21
Apr
10

Tweet & Quit

What are the similarities between Sania Mirza, Dr. Sashi Tharoor and Lalit Modi?

1. They were in the headlines of Indian News Papers for more than a week
2. They all are famous personalities
3. They all are appreciated for the work they have done in their respective field
4. They all have list of controversies in their past
5. Dubai: One wanted to settle in Dubai,One’s gf was in Dubai and the last one was actually in Dubai!
6. They all have Twitter accounts!

Sania Mirza, a Tennis player who displayed a good tennis skills and other stuff creating controversies. Married a Pakistani guy to add fuel to that controversy. And this controversy was complemented by her current husband.

Dr. Sashi Tharoor, a very clean personality with full of controversies. Many times, a female is involved in some or the other way. Let it be the shifting of office or granting equity, Dr. Tharoor has a very sweet and soft corner for his girl friend(s).

Lalit Modi, a student who was charged for drug trafficking, kidnapping, possession of deadly weapon etc.

Some way or the other, each one has done something that should not have been done. Because in the end, they all are humans, just like you and me. So if act like this are going to be headlines of our newspapers, then I really doubt the mindset of the media who is constantly changing the way of thinking of its target audience. So what should we do to this media? REMOVE IT.

Thats exactly what twitter is all about. When the famous personality from verified account tweet’s something, it is directly from him/her with no reporter, no journalist, no editor, no publisher! I think, Truth in Indian media is just like the aid given by the World Bank. When the world bank donates money to Government, at every single step there is a negative change in the amount. Similarly, when some renowned personality says something, the truth level decreases at every touch point of media. Twitter has no middlemen, it publishes what is said!

Now there is something called Diplomacy. Where you have to do something in order to get something that is closely related to the personal or organisational interest. Sometimes, truth has to be concealed. The problem arises when your truth is surfaced by your opponent! So Twitter can be a medium to tell the truth directly! It is just that the audience is not used to reading truths and that is why the controversies. 😛

Lets think something about tolerance. Some people are misfit, just like Sashi Tharoor. He must be experiencing things that are not ethical. Let me put it in this way,

the moment your tolerance level reach its peak, the moment you think that you are suffocating, the moment you think that enough is enough, that is the moment you TWEET!

and you are relieved, you think that your fans will support you, of course they will. But when you are relieved, you also realize that it a virtual world. Your fans are educated creamy layer of India, who tweets but does not vote. So, basically you don’t have the support that you actually need.

They forget that their support is not the number of fans, but their truth! So, if they are wrong and truthful about it, they will quit.. If they are wrong and arrogant about it, they will stay! But if they are honest and truthful about it, they will marry! 😛

My Take:-
Let Sania Mirza do whatever she want to and with whoever she wants to. It is her personal choice to marry someone she like. It should not hurt the sentiments of any particular nation as such. I seriously don’t care!

If Shashi Tharoor is sacked, why are we leaving others? Just because they are shameless enough to stay?

Use Lalit Modi’s talent to promote some other event and attract foreign direct investment. Don’t waste his money and govt. time to work on the case!

I request Nandan Nilekani to stop his crap about unique identification number, everyone has Facebook account, add them all and count your friends 😛 Also, make it compulsory for all the political leaders to have twitter account. Their account should be verified, and they should tweet at least 20 times to give updates related to their work! I know they can cheat, as always, but it will be fun to follow them on twitter!

BTW, it is so obvious that love, power and money are so interrelated. Think about it!

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16
Apr
10

one, 21 guns!

Finally the John Galt has arrived. Yes, John Galt. Today’s John Galt is truly a John Galt when it comes down to travelling and adventure. He loves to meet new people & understand their culture. It is like, he loves his own culture without hating the others’ and that helps him to gel with different people. Claims himself to be lazy fellow, but he does not know, that he is not at all lazy when it comes to the any work of his own interest and hobby.

I can assure you that he knows a lot about the Hollywood & Oscars. Even the Oscar panel must not be knowing the details of each and every film! I have seen people watching films, all kinds of films, films in all languages and films of all times. I have seen them answering any question about the cast and directors of the films. But I am sure that they wont be able to answer about the profits each film has made on regional basis. John Galt is the man to look for when you want to know about the financial statements of any Film, along with the other knowledge normal people have about the films. Music is also a part of him, but then it is very common and not worth to point it out.

Secondly, John Galt is an avid reader. You can find the whole library in his hostel room and house. It is called library because it not only contains books of all genres but also magazines and comics etc. His reading skills are hard to hide in the conversations involving international relations, politics and history. Also his library contains the huge collection of original DVDs! That is a very rare sight in this times of piracy.

The third and the most important point is his keen interest in cooking. He can cook any dish that you want him to cook. He remembers the ingredients of all the dishes and he can make it in 10mins at the max. I feel no need to tell you that the dishes are more than just delicious.

His nature of learning things, adapting to changes, confidence and the strong urge of doing unique things can take him to places in future. His ability to make news friends, stick to the old friends and networking can take him to new heights in his career. And his nature of being diplomatic, not interfering into matters & efficient,robust secret keeping techniques will help him to avoid any controversies in future! And his presentation and presentation making skills will help him to become a hard core marketeer!

And lastly, he is a very emotional guy and to some extent, emotionally stupid! He has an intuition of what the other person is thinking or might be feeling. His actions are in alignment with reactions of the person he is talking to.

All the best for your future ventures! Hope you achieve success in your dreams! And yes, your never give up attitude will ensure that you will make awesome ‘garlic bread’ some day! 😛

BTW, Who is John Galt?

14
Apr
10

Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo

I am taken aback with the loyalty of KKR followers in IPL in general. Even if the team is not doing well they are supporting the team. No team has been this lucky. The worst being MI, where people supports only an individual, forget about the team. Was MI a team ever? Yes sometimes there was Harbhajan, sometimes there was KP who played a match winning knock, but the only common element and reason for all wins was mostly contributed by the man who is compared with the God these days!

Coming back to KKR, the team always stood out with their Dressing sense, Advertisement, Theme song, Fake players, Innumerable captains, Controversies and everything that was remotely related to T20! But the fan following kept increasing day by day! SRT fans support MI for namesake, South Indians support CSK (most of them), and Shah Rukh Khan fans + whole Bengali speaking public support KKR. Bengali speaking crowd in India is Third largest. Second largest is Hindi speaking and the largest is the Shah Rukh Khan’s dialogs speaking crowd. Now if we do intersection and union of Bengalis who supports KKR and SRK fan’s then it becomes a really huge number. And that is the only strength of KKR. It is truly mighty.

The theme song has become synonymous to energy, enthusiasm not only when KKR is winning but even when its losing. The song is like a hope to all the fans who believe that KKR is gonna strike one day. They have had enough of critics where people literally make fun of them and they have no justification for their performance. Here I am assuming a fan and his team to be a single entity as the intensity of association has emotional factor involved. And that factor is so strong that I ended up calling the team as fan’s team! 😛

Lets not get out of focus now, lets play ‘odd one out’. Here is the list of teams and why they are odd one out in this season

1. MI – For being the only team who is sure of semi finals, you don’t deserve to be in IPL because you are so consistent and predictable.

2. Kings – For being the only team who is sure of semi finals, you don’t deserve to be in IPL because you too are very consistent and predictable.

3. Cochin – For being the only team to beat KKR before IPL4 for creating controversies. Respect!

4. KKR – For being the team who has never reached the semi final as of now, hope they reach it this time. Because if you don’t then KKR will be the only team never to reach semi finals along with Pune and Cochin 😛

And if you lose, then I have few headlines for TOI:-

Considering the performance of KKR, SRK is now going to launch a re-mix version of the theme song featuring Lady Ga Ga to woo male fans!

Karan Johar is gonna make a movie on SRK & IPL where a sad version of Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo will be featured along with the photo of Meena Kumari.

Karan Johar claims that this movie will break all emotional barriers. He is also gonna offer acting role to Dada as a support.

Lalit Modi announces a pre-IPL4 qualifying round for KKR,where KKR will be competing with U-15 local school teams and Over-70 retired oldies team. It they win 2/14 matches they are qualified for IPL4.

KKR fans are demanding few things on pre-IPL4 qualifying round:-
1. Barrier should be reduced to 1 win out of 14 as they feel that Modi has deliberately kept high and unachievable task for KKR
2. Even a tie would be consider as the win of KKR on professionalism and seniority grounds.
3. There will be underarm bowling only.

Lalit Modi has given the TV coverage rights to Star Gold channel for the pre-IPL4 qualifying round.

KKR fans are on hunger strike to stop the coverage of the matches as it will lead to more embarrassment if they lose!

Dada has retired from IPL and is now playing local charity matches of ‘Kamalaben Kataria Housing Society’. He hit the century in the first match against ‘Jai Mata Di old woman’s club’.

SRK has appointed 11 captains for the new KKR team! There is also a 12th Captain reserved to discuss about water bottle, pepsi, sona chandi chawanprash supply to the players in field and other strategies.

SRK finally confessed that the fake IPL player was Karan Johar. Karan Johar refused to give any comments on that.

SRK punished the whole team by calling them at Mannat and giving them only Red Chillies to eat! He called it as his entertainment.

SRK was quoted saying, ‘Kamino, cant you play for more than just 70(sattar) minutes?’

SRK tweeted,’Babuji ne kahan delhi mein jo ghar hai uska rent pay karo, Gauri ne kahan Karan ko chod do, Thackrey ne kahan Desh chod do, Modi ne kahan IPL chod do.. Ek din aisa aaega jab woh kahengey.. FAALTU KI PUBLICITY MAARNA CHOD DO’

The End

PS:- I hope TOI is reading this, Please offer me a job at least now! 😛

11
Apr
10

Mooved – ‘Hey Ram’ se ‘Aha’ takk!


Still, history is made by the winners, is written by the followers and is manipulated by the rulers!

I had used this sentence in one of my articles and got compliments from many friends. For many days, this line was on my mind and I started looking for various examples. I wanted something that was recent, that was truly manipulated, that was truly taught in the text books! And I think I came across the best one!

It was 30th Jan,1948, Independent & Partitioned India! Mahatma Gandhi, the father of the Nation or some may say, father of Pakistan was assassinated. Three bullets right from the front by a Hindu. After hitting the bullets who were the only two persons who had not panicked?

1. The one who was killed, because he was already dead by then.
2. The killer, who was as calm as the dead man.

The killer had come very close to Mahatma before hitting the bullet, thus making him close enough to hear whatever that was uttered by the great man in the end. Specially the last 2 words. There must be cries, screams & panic everywhere. The killer claims that the Mahatma uttered a faint ‘aha’ before he died, but now the text books claimed that he said ‘hey ram’.

In one of the Marathi play ‘Me Nathuram Godse Boltoy’ which was banned in Maharashtra after few days, it was claimed by the lead actor that he uttered only ‘aha’. Wait, why was this play banned in the first place? Maharashtra is an Indian state and India is a bloody democratic country where everyone has a right to express. This ban on the play confirms that the history is manipulated by the rulers. They want to pass on to the next generation what they want to. But this is a very lame reason why the history is manipulated.

In the play, the character Nathuram Godse justifies saying why Mahatma would say ‘Hey Ram’ when he was not biased between ‘Ram’ and ‘Rahim’ or ‘Krishna’ and ‘Karim’. Then why only ‘Ram’ was uttered. Will the father of nation be biased to Hindus while he claimed that he was not? He(Godse) also said that no one is following Gandhi after his death,as everybody is claiming that he said ‘Hey Ram’. The government is lying and teaching the same thing in the text book. Is this what Gandhi wanted? I don’t think so.

The lines of the play goes like this:-

I wanted just three seconds more. I moved two steps forward and faced Gandhi. Now I wanted to take out the revolver and salute him for whatever sacrifice and service he had made for the nation. One of the two girls was dangerously close to Gandhi and I was afraid that she might be injured in the course of firing. As a precautionary measure I went one more step ahead, bowed before him and gently pushed the girl away from the firing line.

The next moment I fired at Gandhi. Gandhi was very weak, there was a feeble sound like ‘aah’ from him and he fell down.

Those who were close to me saw the weapon in my hand. They rushed away from the spot. Gandhi had fallen to the ground, I was standing and the crowd had formed a ring around us.

After the firing I raised my hand holding the revolver and shouted, ‘Police, police’. For 30 seconds nobody came forward and I scanned the crowd. I saw a police officer. I signalled to him to come forward and arrest me. He came and caught my wrist, then a second man came and touched the revolver… I let it go…

I don’t know what is the truth out here. Hope I was standing there with a sound recorder. But yes, after reading many articles, anyone and everyone can smell that something is wrong. But the whole nation is suffering from running nose!

Few people claim that towards the end, many Hindus hated Gandhi because he was favoring Muslims. To raise the image of Mahatma, the government said that his last words were ‘Hey Ram’. They believed that this could restore the image of Mahatma as a strong Hindu! Why they did not restore the image of Gandhi as ‘non-racist’. (read the incident in South Africa where he made some comments against Blacks).

If this is true, then its indeed a tragedy! For a man, who only said truth, ended his life by a lie! That too, it was not his fault, it was made a lie by his followers! Followers should speak the truth, but this lie is engraved on Mahatma in Raj-ghat even today! It was debated many times, specially on his 50th Death Anniversary. It is a very good topic to study. History can not be changed, it can be studied, analysed, and passed to the next generation. But sometimes, History can be changed, it can be manipulated for the ‘greater good’!

Some deaths are mysterious, like that of Subhash Chandra Bose. Some deaths are very clear, but the reason is mysterious, like that of Mahatma Gandhi!!

Finally read the dialog from the play

I never stole in my childhood, so there was no question of apologising to my father. I never took a vow of celibacy as I was already practising celibacy. I was moving around the refugee camps and helping the destitute with food and clothes. But I did not wander half-naked because the refugees were naked. I never spun yarn, never cleaned my toilet, never observed silence till I was hanged. There was only one common factor in Gandhi’s life and mine. We were both the cause of each other’s death. He wanted to live for his principles and I was prepared to die for my principles.

Source:- The play ‘Me Nathuram Godse Boltoy’, The talk show ‘Mahatma v/s Gandhi’, other articles!

PS:- Apologies for the extensive use of the word ‘claim’ but it was unavoidable.

08
Apr
10

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts

I have divided people according to their behavior. When they are drunk!!

Group no.1
Shouts at everyone, they do weird things, for them the feeling of getting drunk is as good as attending a seminar on the ‘Chosen ones’ in heaven!

Group no.2
They tease each other. To be more convenient, they corner some one in the group, and they tease him/her till the person is disgusted. Such people have to get the sense of achievement in life, they are actually not losers, but yes, the one who does not even try for anything. They laugh at others’ emotions! Then they think that they are Tigers!

Group no.3
They talk sense. They talk politics, history, geography, recent events, and everything that is worth discussing. They respect your views, counter views. They argue, they accept, they refuse, they argue again! In the end they are left with a little value addition.

Group no.4
They watch a movie. Then they watch another movie. Then they watch another movie.

Group no.5
They go to the dance floor and dance. and dance. and dance.

Group no.6
They get emotional. They cry. They call their old friends. They say sorry. They ask them to join the party. They get drunk. They pay for them. And the old friends make fun of them. They end up getting more emotional.

Group no.7
They sit. Relax. Observe.

Group no.8
They drink as little as possible. But they over act as much as possible! Then they act as if they are drunk. Then they say things they would have actually said if they were really drunk!

Group no.9
They don’t know what they want to do when they are drunk. They don’t want to repent about their out of control activities. They don’t want to lose their diplomacy. So they conveniently finds a place and sleep!

Group no.10
They are similar to that of group no.9, but they sleep with some one else.

Group no.11
They are similar to that of group no.10, but they sleep in some one else’s room.

Group no.12
They don’t know what to do, so they cry!

Group no.13
They go to everyone and say sorry. For no reason.

Group no.14
They take the responsibility of making everyone drunk. They feel that the God has chosen them for making drinks for everyone in the party and He wants them to get others drunk to attain salvation.

Group no.15
They don’t drink because they have to pay. The moment the drinks are free, they get drunk and say thank you to the person! Then they bull shit, and make sure that they apply enough butter to the person who is paying for them.

Group no.17
They get drunk and call anyone and everyone in their phone list. They invite them to drink even if the other person is sleeping in the other corner of this world. For them, everyone is at airport waiting for their call, so that they catch the flight and come to their stupid small party to drink.

(Oh where is 16??)
Group no.16
They drink, get drunk and update their blog about their observation about the other people who drinks and get drunk! 😛

03
Apr
10

India is my country, All Indians are…..

‘No country is perfect, we need to make it perfect’. This is a not the perfect sentence, because this sentence is mostly spoken when the youth is drunk, emotional, frustrated etc.

Secondly the word ‘we’ is the most controversial word in this sentence. This word represent either unity, or the act of taking things for granted. It either represents determination, or the free advise with no responsibility! It represents either baseless remarks, or a well thought & planned strategic announcement! In the end, we realize that this statement is just made as a counter argument for the negative remarks about our country. It has no meaning, no determination, no relevance whatsoever.

‘No country’, these words give us the unfair privilege of comparing our weakness to the others. Evaluating the weaker weakness, and getting satisfied at the relative comparison! But in the end, we are weak and we have our weakness. So comparing with other country who is weaker, more corrupt, more poor wont really help! It is like saying,’ I failed because he failed’.

‘Perfect’:- The definition is really very difficult. Perfect means nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong means, everybody is happy, we get happy only when we are satisfied with life.. We are satisfied if our wants are fulfilled. But the first thing I learnt in Social Studies book of my school was ‘Human wants are unlimited’. So perfection is nearly impossible to achieve! This is in contrast to the relative comparison that was earlier mentioned!

‘to make it perfect’:- If the above theory is true, then these words are the most fake words of the sentence. It raises false expectation & promise to deliver something better. Also it asks us to thrive for something that is unachievable through some theories. But then, If you aim for the sky, you may reach the tree top! At least! So these words contribute towards more confusion in the sentence.

India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters.
India is Politicians’ country, & all Indians are educated but helpless! (God help those who helps themselves, so if we don’t help ourself, we are……………. )

I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage.
I love my country but I am ashamed of its rich and varied internal fights!

I shall always strive to be worthy of it.
Yet, I shall always strive to make my country worthy some day!

I shall give respect to my parents, teachers and elders and treat everyone with courtesy.
I shall give respect to my parents & teachers no doubt, and to everyone who treats me with courtesy!

To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion.
To their present country & my futuristic and optimistic dream, I pledge my devotion.

In their well being and prosperity alone lies my happiness.
In my struggle, survival and success, alone lies my happiness!

Jai Hind!
Long Live India!

I am an Indian, India is not only my country but also my religion. India is my caste, India is my color. India is my wealth, India is my culture!

03
Apr
10

Lock Up

I got lost in the room
Where I did not find the door
I realized that I was caught
between the roof and the floor..

I knew where my world was
freedom was my love,with her i had to elope
It was obvious that i was between
the expectation and the hope..

I just can not say No,
Relationship awaited to spoil
Coz I knew I was hanging
between the sky and the soil..

I just want to break the door,
Want to see the free sky,
I just want to say No,
Whenever you selfishly lie..




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